You Better go down When You Get Wit Me
You Better Realize I Am Wat You Need
You Better Get Here Before I Count To 3
You Better Do Right I'll F**k You Up

in case you wondered...

i am quite good. school, art, dancing lessons..y'know. pretty tiring. i went to nicosia yesterday to the art gallery. i've been impressed..i mean how good they are! the techniques, the idea, the colours..it's just wonderful.. i wish i could get that good.
i went out on saturday and came home at 4.30 am. that night was great..i'm telling you. haha. i was quite drunk telling all this funny stuff. i get very talkative when i'm drunk. haha, oh whatever:)

half term is almost over. i want another one. 5 days is not enough for a proper rest! i'm still feeling very tired. i didn't start my final art piece which is to be sketched by tomorrow. and still need to write 2 essays: one for russian and one for english literature. i feel like im' gonna explode in a second. i want a carefree life. to eat without thinking how bad it's gonna be for me. to go out without thinking that i've got a lot of homework to do. to do whatever i want without thinking about the consequences.

cool us:)

what a lovely day. we got half term now. so yes, reeeeest:)
gymnastics, modelling tomorrow...and then going out and clubbing(my favourite part). i think i'm gonna be home really late next morning. i am a rebel. i wanna do something stupid though. like something everyone will gossip about. haha, i love when people gossip. the funniest part is that you don't even care what they say but they put so much effort in discussing every single detail of you. but it's quite fun though to know that you're discussed and it seems that people just can't get enough of it.

poor people. cool us.

hello. i'm not bothered to do anything again. business studies test tomorrow and i haven't revised well. yeh, another screwed up test. shit. i'm going down. used to be such a good student doing everything PERFECTLY(i bet anna likes this word) and now i just get Cs and Ds and seem to be satisfied with it. am i just getting stupid or what?

school sucks. so does everything.

i fed up with all this school routine: essays, tests, homeworks, exams, teachers getting angry and annoyed... shit. i just need some rest! i've just noticed that most of my teachers hate me and i'm not even saying a thing to them. i'm just trying to be an ordinary student that does homework on time(well, most of it) and revises for the test and exams.
you know what, sometimes it's like really hard to do all the homework on time. like you come home and you don't wanna do anything. you just think that life sucks and you wanna cry so much. or family problems are bothering you. my grandma is in hospital now and i'm soo worried about her health. so i don't fucking have a mood for homework. duh:'( but teachers will never get it! they're going to give you a warning letter. they're going to hate you, hate you, hate you. hate me for everything i do. for skyving lessons, days, for not giving essays on time, for not listening properly on the lessons. and they don't care that i'm having a mental disorder. that i have apathy towards everything. they just want you to be a perfect student who loves and enjoys studying at every moment of my life which is impossible unless you're a robot.

i'm getting better

well, whatever happens, we neeed to carry on living. of course, we can cry all the time and this will be the easier way of living. but why show people that you're looking for easy ways? just smile. and people will say you're strong. i am strong. i can cope with everything.

life's shit

if life was given to people, then there was a particular purpose for it. there must be a mission for everyone in this world. well, if so..then i don't know what to do with my life. i'm so fed up with everything. i thought i had a perfect life, my dad is rich and he provided me with most. but he got robbed and there's no money anymore. everything's ruined. i don't know what to do now. life sucks and sorry, i don't want it. can you take it back, please?

i'm a loveshy baby

Heya heya heya heya hey,
I'm thinking about you, i'm a loveshy baby
Got to got to get together be strong
Cos our love will be coming and i won't be loveshy anymore


well, things are good as you see. i'm losing weight and getting more comfortable with myself:) i was wearing white top today and it looked awesome on me! ooh i love you life:)

awesome party

Champagne night was great
pics are available on facebook, if you're my friend there
that was so fun, well most of us were drunk, but who cares? still was cool
we were on webcam chatting with different people and then we watched a movie, had a sushi meal and took lots of pictures
well, i'll have to do it again somewhen later:):)

Champagne night on friday!

4 friends are coming for a sleepover. we're gonna have champagne, baileys and tia maria. also we're gonna have sushi.
can't wait, babes!
x

yeh, i know i haven't been on here for loong.

i've missed you. but school takes most of my time
and dancing takes the rest of it:(
i'm very good. ve been having some itneresting events recently. i went to this model agency and that was quite cool. we were taught the catwalk and some positions, how to turn etc. met some new people. we'll see what it's going to lead to:)
had this chat with jamie yesterday. he asked me to be his girlfriend. well, i dunno, i dunno, but i said yes. maybe, when he's going to come to my city we'll go out and stuff:) he thinks i'm hot<3 and he's been asking me to go on webcam like every day before:)
today we had pe and we played tennis. was great cos i fucking love tennis! i used to do it for 3 years so i'm quite good.
and i'm still trying to lose some weight. very difficult. i skipped lunch today. had only breakfast. i hope i'll be lighter tomorrow. oh, puh-lease!

the idea of losing weight can't leave me for the last one week. i try as hard as i can but it's still very difficult for me to get skinnier. fucking nature. wanna be skinny!

cry, baby, cry.

i really love my dad but he makes me cry everytime he comes to visit me. i think it's something from my childhood when my parents divorced and i had my young heart broken. i was only 3 but it didn't stop him from leaving our family. since that we had a lot of arguments, he's been really angry at me sometimes and for no reason so i'm very sensitive now with what he says. even the smallest thing makes me cry. he might not know it because i try to hide my tears, he might not care because he lives HIS life. but i cry... i cry.
why do bad things happen to good people? i know he's good but everytime i see his eyes drunk i turn around and cry. cry a lot. and cry.
my dad is good. and i love him. thanks for everything you've done, daddy.

if people are being bitches to me, i'll be a bitch to them.

i don't wanna be a fucking 'opportunity cost' as it's called in a Business Studies book. I'm the one and only. don't wanna hear people telling me "if i won't be able to go there, i'll go out with you tonight" i wanna be the first choice! i want people to want to meet me more that anything else. i wanna be Adriana from "Chasing Harry Winston". she might be not that well-educated but she can always get whatever she wants! she could teach me if she was real, but she's not:( let's stop it. i'm GONNA be a bitch from now. just wait.

i'm fucking annoyed and tired.

my mom has been annoying me all the day because i got these shoes from Peacocks and she noticed that there was a little deffect on them and she started yelling at me that now she has to go back to the shop to change them . argh. wtf? i didn't ask her. and then she thought i was lying to her because i misremembered the amount of money she left for me to go and buy some clothes and i thought she actually left less than she did. not a big deal. but she thought i was being dishonest and trying to get more money from her which is a bullshit because i would never do that. then i was the first to blame for not making some dinner. but i don't fucking wanna eat. i've been on my feet for the whole day, starting from morning when i had to go to the cosmetologist to ask her to remove one spot that she missed out when she did the face-cleaning. and then i went to the shopping mall because i needed to get some bras as i'm getting annoyed with those with push-up, they are too hot to wear in summer. and then i've been meeting my friends whom i haven't seen for the whole fucking 4 months. and then i had a massage as i've got some back problems. and it was painful, believe me. so now, after all this i'm having delayed onset muscle soreness and cannot be bothered to make a salad because my 19 y.o. brother wants to eat. he can get something from the fridge, it has loads in it.
i'm not in the mood, as you see. so if you want to tell that i'm wrong with all written above, please, don't, it'll be better for you to keep silence:)

i'm turning into a home lover...

Gosh. I used to be such an outgoing person partying every saturday but a trip to my home country ukraine has changed me a lot. well, i live here with my mom so while she's at her job place i'm alone and... i'm loving it. i love to be at home, it's something very special. and especially, i love to be alone at home. it's when you can walk in your underwear and listen to the music played at maximum volume. when you can sing along and do whatever you want. cook whatever you want whithout my mom telling me that i'm going to mess up everything. it's just brilliant. my friends have been asking me out now but i'm not sure if i want to. it's just that it's so nice to lay on the sofa and watch tv... and i've had a face cleaning 2 hours ago and my face is red as tomato now:) so i guess i'll be staying at home for another hour and then i'll decide...

photoshoot cancelled.

i've planned to have a photoshoot today at 1 pm. i've met the man who was gonna make a photoshoot at the picture gallery not far from my house about 2 weeks ago. he came up to me and asked if i'd like to participate in his photoproject. to say honestly, i was hesitating. i mean, i've heard that i'm very photogenic lots of times but i've never been pictured professionally. but that was definitely interesting for me. so i said i'll think about that and took his phone number. and i called him. unfortunately, nothing comes easy and, no doubt, shit happens so he called and cancelled the photoshoot for today because he was sick. it wasn't so bad because i thought that it's not the best time for me to do it because of some spots i got lately and i couldn't get to the salon to have a face cleaning. i'm not sad, it's gonna be another one later on and i'm invited;)
now i'm sitting here and picking up the cashew nuts from nuts assortie because i find them the tastiest after almonds(i've eaten all the almonds already). boooring.

who needs diaries?

while listening to "Lollipop" i was looking at my diary and thinking that i actually like the idea of having a diary. i used to think that people who have internet diaries most probably don't have real lives. well, of course i've tried having a diary before but never got the purpose of it. i mean, you write, people read..so what's next? and what's so interesting about it? what makes people read it? none of my friends know that i'm on here and that's the best part. i can write whatever i think and whatever i want. that doesn't mean i'll start bitching about my friends from this second but that means that i can open up without thinking what my dearest mates' opinion is gonna be. i'll share my diary with them later on, but not now for sure.:)

what?

i've been really wanting to write something cool here. i've been wanting to be someone like Catherine Townsend telling entertainingly about her casual life in her reports. she's reaally cool. i've read her "Breaking The Rules" and thought it was amazing. when i do things, good thoughts come to my mind and i think that it would be great to rearrange them into sentences in my diary. but when it comes that i appear next to computer i can't think of something brilliant to post. well, i'm just a teenager girl who lives her life; meaning, goes to school, has some close friends, lots of good mates, goes out, has some hobbies and is on facebook as all of her friends are. well, i want to have a job in Glamour magazine, like writing some reports but it's not realisable at this period of my life. i mean that i have to grow up first. physically and mentally.
it's already 2:35 in the morning and i'm listening to Diddy's "Last Night". in 20 minutes i'll go to bed, will read some of "Chasing Harry Winston" before actually falling asleep...
so now wish a good night to you all.
p.s. actually i'd like to know if anyone finds my style interesting, so if you accidentally surfed through this page and liked this message, please, don't be shy and tell me. i will appreciate it;)

hey. so that's my blog. enjoy;)